Sunday, May 3, 2009

how did the toilet become my area of expertise?




i am far from one who believes in "traditional" roles for men and women. i have always been the annie get your gun kind of anything you can do, i can do better kind of girl. i have discovered one thing that i wish i didn't do better, the toilet.

today, i was greeted by a clogged toilet. why my boyfriend is unable or unwilling to use the plunger himself, i have no clue. for some reason, this falls into my purview. i mean dealing with bugs and spiders (of course, except for wasps and hornets) which he has a ridiculous fear of i'm completely fine with, but toilets are pretty gross. why, i ask you why me?
last week, my toilet duty reached a new high, toilet repair. nothing can compare to having the boy yell out to me the toilet doesn't work. immediately, i do a mental check as i made my way to the bathroom. water bill paid, yep. so, we take the lid off when he explains to me that the toilet won't flush but the sink is working fine. upon close inspection, i note that the platic piece which attaches the chain from the lever which you hit when you want to flush to the flapper which opens to allow water into the toilet when you flush is broken. well, i don't want human waste sitting in my toilet. joy, oh, joy, i get to reach my hand into the water and manually lift the flapper to flush the toilet. now, i'm a renter. so, i could call the landlord and have him come rectify the problem. of course, i would want to clean the whole house ensuring it is spotless before the landlord arrives just to ease my conscience which would take hmm well too long. or, thanks to a therapist assignment to teach me independence a few years ago, i could go down to home depot and plunk down about $5 buy the replacement part solving the problem in a matter of minutes allowing me to put off a complete cleaning of my house. i, of course, opt for the second choice. now, here is where i will sing the praises of home depot or at least the one in my town. i have never and i mean never been in a chain store with better customer service. as soon as i entered the aisle, there were not one but two employees who immediately came over to help. as much as i would like to flatter myself and think it is because i am quite the vixen, one was a nice lady who i am positive had no such interest in me. they were super helpful. not only did they help me find a cheap option, they directed me to one that had an adjustable ball that allows me to determine how much water i want to be released whenever the toilet is flushed. bonus, this water conserving flapper was the same price range as all the other options and cheaper than most. when i installed the new flapper, i started with the lowest setting and was informed that might not be enough for his sessions(our term for his insanely long bathroom visits. why anyone wants to spend time on the throne reading for 20 minutes to a half an hour blows my mind. does anyone out there know why men do that?), so i went with a mid range setting that is still less than we were using before.
and now, i am officially and regrettably queen of the throne.
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