Saturday, August 1, 2009

Relapse

No, not mine; but a friend's. I knew a friend of mine relapsed for some time now. It's not the first time that I've had a friend relapse. In all reality, it's a pretty common occurrence. You see recovery is a pretty difficult road. It tends to be more like a game of Sorry for most addicts where you are constantly starting over. While I have been lucky enough to be one of the approxiamately 10% who stay sober, I have relapsed in recovery from other addictions. That's right like most addicts, alcohol is not my only addiction. Alcoholism was not even my first addiction. I like many addicts tried other poor coping mechanisms.
I was hoping the time would come when my friend would choose to tell me she had relapsed. I am not my friend's sponsor, and hence I made the decision be it right or wrong to give her a few days to come to me. So, I got the phone call that none of us in the program want to get; the drunken(or drugged) relapse call. I know enough not to go over to her house at least not alone. I cannot be alone with an addict that is using. That is a recipe for my own relapse. Luckily, I did manage to talk this person into getting some professional help. I have not always been so blessed when other friends have relapsed. I've actually lost a friend in the program who relapsed and eventually died as a result of an overdose.
This situation is different though for me than any of my prior situations perhaps because more of our mutual friends are not in the program than those who are in the program. I have been respectful of my friend's wishes and not mentioned anything about the relapse to any of our mutual friends. However, tongues have been wagging. People really can be quite cruel. To many people not in the program, her problem seems to be a joke and frankly it surprises me they have the gall to say these things in my presence. I don't expect people who are not addicts to understand how truly difficult it is not to use, but I do assume they would have some more general compassion and concept that addiction as a disease is not an easy one to live with. I may not have relapsed with alcohol, but I am the exception the very rare exception. I have thoughts more often than I wish. I have had to call a dear friend to take my extracts(yes, they have alcohol in them.) away from me as they were the only products in my household with alcohol in them, and I was feeling weak. I have a wonderful network. None of this is to say that I will not someday relapse. I hope when I do people are more considerate. And, I hope that people who aren't addicts can be more educated about addiction. The reality is that most everyone in this world knows or will no someone who is an addict. Many forms of addiction are deadly especially alcoholism, drug addiction, and eating disorders. Those that are not deadly are at the very least psychologically damaging. I doubt anyone plans to be an addict. Poor choices are made(of course, I am not talking about babies born addicted to drugs.). In the end, life is about what we do about those choices. I know that someday the temptation may get the best of me too.
These are just my rambling thoughts on the subject that I felt I needed to express somehow and somewhere other than a meeting. I don't want pity. I don't want to be the face of addiction. I just hope for better awareness on the subject.

more fun at karaoke

Here's some shots from this week's karaoke. I should explain that while it may seem like I post a lot of pictures from our karaoke escapades, I am choosing from usually 80-200 that we take on any given karaoke outing. These just happen to be a few of my faves.

Chris and I. I have about a zillion pictures of both he and I with votives or votive holders on our heads. No idea why we do it.

Paul is pysched it's his turn to sing.

John Lee as a flower.


Here I am doing the raptor.

Paul and John Lee doing the raptor.

Justin is always good for a silly shot.

Drew and I. Originally what looks like a scarf around my neck was actually the tank top under my shirt. The boys were teasing me, so I took it off and converted it into a scarf which also eventually became too hot and made its way into my purse.

I didn't think it was possible for me to look shorter, but this shot proves I can more into micro Becca when singing.

I'm asking again

I must admit to being a bit competitive by nature. I like to win, but who doesn't really. Ok, so I can finally say that I've lived long enough that I know some of those people who really couldn't care one way or another who wins. It really astounds me but more power to them. I will never be that person.
I know I have mentioned before that I have asked for votes for cheap tweets before. Cheap Tweets searches through tweets for bargain tweets. Then, people vote for them and those with the most votes get featured. Sadly, I've never gotten more than 4 votes. So, I'd like to get more and maybe possibly get close to feature status one day. It's a small thing really I know, but it does so eat at my competitive nature in the same way I know many of us get excited when we see our blog has a new follower or we have a new comment. So, please vote for me.

Ways to dine out and still get a deal

Right now, a lot of restaurants are offering coupons and lower prices to encourage customers to come in during this economic downturn. I know that even though I work in a restaurant, I have cut back drastically how often I go out to eat. And, when we do go out, I do not hesitate to use a coupon. For some reason, I find that even my coupon clipping cohorts seem to be less inclined to use a coupon at a restaurant than they would at the grocery store. Frankly, I think this is silly. I know as a server, I am going to give you the same quality service. I would just expect an appropriate tip. And, there are tons of places to find restaurant coupons these days. I seem to get mailers on an almost daily basis with restaurant coupons. Additionally, many restaurants have downloadable coupons available on their websites or offer valuable coupons just for signing up for their customer appreciation email list. One such restaurant is UNO's. I signed up for UNO's Insider's program a couple of years ago. Since signing up, I've been invited to a complimentary new menu tasting with a guest as well as receiving via email coupons on a quite regular basis usually for $5 off a $15 purchase. The tasting really was more than enough to fill us up for a meal and all we had to pay for was any alcoholic beverages that were not samples they passed out(sodas or water were complimentary as well). They also send me information via email about special offers such as free appetizer nights that they have with purchase of a beverage. This is something that I've noticed a lot of bars/restaurants are doing currently to get customers in the door. I'll admit that I've definitely enjoyed some quality time with friends and got the equivalent of a meal at a few of these events.

Restaurant.com offers gift cards to numerous restaurants at vastly discounted prices such as $25 gift cards for $10. They make it easy as you can pay online and print out the certificate from your own printer the day you want to use it. They do often require minimum purchases so be sure to read to see if any restrictions apply.

Even when dining, you can get more bang for your buck. I'm infamous for filing up on the items which don't reheat the best(or bread as I am a bit of a carbaholic) and saving the rest of my meal for lunch or dinner the next day. I've even found that some restaurants towards the end of the night will box up some extra bread that would otherwise be thrown away for me too. This is certainly not true everywhere though as leftover bread is often considered a bonus of closing a restaurant for employees. Some restaurants will be more than happy to send you home with a carry out nonalcoholic beverage if your beverage comes with free refills. I know the restaurant I work at does this as a general policy upon request(and frankly many of us simply offer it to customers as well just as a matter of good service to make what will hopefully be better tips.). I rarely have taken advantage of it myself. But, recently when dining out, I had a server just automatically bring me a to go diet coke to me when she brought our boxes.

Dessert for Breakfast

I have recently stumbled upon the most wonderful treat ever. At my work, we offer fruit topping for griddle items such as waffles, french toast, and pancakes. Since it is summertime, the big seasonal fruit topping is strawberries. As you may have guessed from my last post about the strawberry slurpee, I am a fan of all things strawberry. I, however, rarely indulge at work due to budgetary constraints. A coworker though mentioned a craving of hers that got me thinking and when I won a sales contest last week which entitled me to a free meal I decided to try my version of her secret pleasure. My coworker told me one of her pregnancy cravings was fruit topped waffles topped(that's right it is even more indulgent.) with scoops of vanilla ice cream. Now, I've tried fruit topped waffles before; but I find that waffles just don't seem to soak up the fruit syrup as well as pancakes. So, I got 2 pancakes topped with strawberries and our strawberry which is made by blending strawberries with sugar and a little water until you get a very smooth consistency and topped it with a couple of scoops of ice cream then sprinkled some powdered sugar on top. Now, this was like the biggest and best strawberry shortcake ever. Not something I would do often, but definitely a summer treat I would try again. And, for the record, it took me 3 sittings to finish this wonderful monstrosity. It's especially good to let the strawberry syrup sit under a heat lamp or broiler to let it soak into the pancakes. Plus, the warmth of the pancakes melts the ice cream a bit so the cream mixes well with the strawberries. Mmmmmmmm.

My new favorite slurpee

Anyone who knows me, knows I have a borderline addiction to slurpees. I may have said something along the line of them having the ability to solve all the worlds problem. And, slurpees really are better than icees. Yes, I believe you can taste the difference. Despite my addiction, I tend to stick to my tried and true favorite flavor, Coke. For a while, I tried to be good and drink the diet Pepsi flavor which I no longer seem to be able to find and occassionally dabble with the various Crystal Light flavors. However, most Crystal Light flavors just don't do it for me. I was however intrigued by the new Wild Strawberry Crystal Light flavor. I must say I and even some of my friends are completely hooked. It tastes just like biting into the sweetest, juiciest strawberry without the nasty artificial sweetener aftertast I often associate with Crystal Light.

Fun Killing Time


I was waiting for laundry to finish, so I could head to bed. Unfortunately, I was feeling a bit brain dead; so blogging was simply out of the question as a way of killing time. Instead, I stumbled upon http://www.morphthing.com/. You can morph pictures of anyone you want including celebrities together ala David Letterman. What I found tons more amusing was the option to create morph babies like the one above which is supposedly what my baby would look like if a friend of mine and I had a child together. Ah, the fun of the internet.
And, while he's a cutie pie, I'm not sure he looks a bit like me.