another day another shower

i have no children. it is not that i don't want children some day. but, my boyfriend and i haven't made the marriage step yet, nor are we in a position to pay for infertility treatment at this time. i do adore children, but having been told at 18 years old i may never be able to have my own children, baby showers tend to be bittersweet. i certainly felt a kinship with charlotte's character on sex in the city as she struggled with miranda's pregnancy especially the baby shower. i always feel a ton of apprehension and longing when a baby shower looms in my future. i suppose for this reason whenever a baby shower of a friend approaches i somehow get a pretty important task for the shower as a way of changing focus. in fact, i personally have hosted 2 showers. i also find it a bit vexing that the mother to be is always and i mean always younger than me in my life. this time around, i am blessed that my best friend's son is about to be a first time dad. my best friend has allowed me the honor of being in charge of the baby shower games. we originally discussed this last friday. i looked stuff online and added some sites to my favorites. then, i have left it at that. when i talked to her this friday, she bugged me to send her my picks. i just keep putting it off. avoiding the pain i guess.